Friday, 3 December 2010


I don't think I like living in a city. I miss silence and open spaces, birds and squirrels, and being able to see the stars. I miss being driven through empty roads in the dark with the windows open. I miss large expanses of water and snow actually staying as snow.

But then when I'm home I miss people and noise, pretty lights and 24 hour shops, fast food and public transport and cinemas that actually show recent films.

I don't know. I think mostly I just miss him, because he isn't in either of those places. If I'm honest, I'm not sure he's anywhere but my head right now. There was someone who looked like him in a club last night and I didn't deal with it too well. I miss hope and excitement for what's to come.

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
at least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

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